The Middleton Chess Society Incident was a notorious instance of vandalism committed at the headquarters of the Middleton Chess Society. Despite numerous theories as to the perpetrator(s) of this crime, it remains unsolved.

The Incident Edit

EMERGENCY CALL FROM THE MIDDLETOWN CHESS SOCIETY (WARNING-Audio of Elmer "Checkmate" Yogle's frantic 911 call

EMERGENCY CALL FROM THE MIDDLETOWN CHESS SOCIETY (WARNING-Audio of Elmer "Checkmate" Yogle's frantic 911 call.

Audio of Elmer "Checkmate" Yogle's frantic 911 call.

The vandalism was discovered by the Middleton Chess Society President Elmer "Checkmate" Yogle. The walls of the Chess Society headquarters had been scrawled with offensive slogans such as "Chess is for Chumps" and the room had been covered in raw eggs. Due to Yogle's egg allergy, he was nearly killed by exposure.

In the hours following the discovery of the crime, evidence emerged as to a potential perpetrator in the form of several photographs showing a masked figure entering the school armed with egg cartons. Many theories persist as to the identity of this figure, with some suggesting that they may have ties to the Middleton Death Cult, presumed responsible for the Middleton Missing Student phenomenon.

Response Edit


Photo of the alleged perpetrator.

In response to the Chess Society Incident there was an outpouring of sympathy at Middleton High School, culminating in the Bully Week initiative designed to bring awareness to victims of bullying and abuse. The Middleton Underground, however, expressed ebullience at the incident, claiming that the Chess Society upheld bourgeois values and that the attack on them was a signal for positive change at Middleton.